Thursday, January 25, 2018

Why has Patrick Meehan told us so much about his inner emotional life?






Pat Meehan
Republican
Rep. Patrick Meehan of Pennsylvania is chair of the House
Overshare Committee.

Jacquelyn
Martin/AP




  • Rep. Patrick Meehan, a Republican from Pennsylvania,
    has taken America on a very public exploration of his emotions
    in recent days.



  • Meehan used taxpayer funds to settle a complaint for a
    former staffer who said he professed romantic desires toward
    her and retaliated when she rejected them.




"How can you control feelings?" Rep. Patrick Meehan
asked Lauren Mayk
, a reporter for NBC 10 in Philadelphia, on
Wednesday.


The congressman meant the question to be rhetorical, but he may
actually need it answered.


The New York Times
reported Saturday
that Meehan, a Republican who represents a
heavily gerrymandered swing district outside Philadelphia, used
taxpayer funds to settle a complaint from a former staffer who
said he professed romantic desires toward her and then retaliated
against her when she rejected them.


Since the Times report came out, Meehan has been talking a lot about his
feelings
. To the press. Like a wounded teenager who just got
dumped for the first time. Because he somehow thinks his actions
will look more appropriate if he pours his heart out.


"This was quite sudden, and it was also something that was going
to separate the relationship that we had, and that was a big blow
to me," Meehan
told The Philadelphia Inquirer
of the time he learned his
decades-younger staffer had a boyfriend and was going to leave
his office.






Meehan denied to The Inquirer that he had harassed his staffer,
insisting that if he was hostile toward her, it was because of a
different emotional driver: stress he was feeling about
high-stakes votes on healthcare policy.


There is a common thread between Meehan's explanations for his
scandal and his actions that led to the scandal in the first
place: total emotional self-absorption.


At each step, Meehan has failed to consider the effect that his
choice to follow and exclaim his own emotions might have on the
emotions of others — for example, those of his staffer, or those
of his wife.


Oh, right — I should mention that Meehan is married, with three
children.


At the time in early 2017 when he learned about his staffer's
romantic relationship, he burdened her with the knowledge that
her relationship was negatively affecting his feelings.


"I stated that I wished I could be better at accepting it right
now but I probably needed a bit of time," he said.


Then he wrote her a letter, in which he said he had made peace
with her relationship.


"As you bask in this moment of extreme joy I want to share with
you my sentiment of how richly it is deserved," he wrote. "You
are kind and sensitive and caring and infectious with your laugh.
You are and have been a complete partner to me and you have
brought me much happiness."


Meehan has since told NBC 10 this letter has been misconstrued as
a love letter.


"I was writing a letter to say I love the idea that you have
found this new relationship, and even though it hurts me that
we're going to be separated, and even though I'm struggling with
the idea, that — that — that having you with me is something I
need to make sure I always keep professional," he explained.


Meehan's emotional incontinence — "my own struggle with
emotions," as he put it to NBC 10 in an on-camera interview — has
not only interfered with his observance of boundaries related to
marital fidelity, sexual-harassment law, and grown-up dignity,
but his accuser's lawyer told NBC 10 that his recent statements
"are a gross violation of the confidentiality and
non-disparagement provisions that he signed" at the time she
received her settlement.


Learn to control your feelings, congressman — whether those
feelings are leading you to hit on your employee or whether they
are leading you to tell the world you simply "demonstrated that
there was a caring and an affection," and that you had platonic
intentions when you called her your "soul mate," and that you are
hurt that people think any of this was untoward.


Some things are best kept bottled up inside, even before
considering the contractual obligations one might have to do so.


This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of Business Insider.










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